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Tony Jameson: 2005, Lee Bowyer v. Keiron Dyer

a) My mate had a Newcastle United Season ticket where he sat with his uncle, his uncle then got a box so his seat was going spare. I'll watch any football, so spent most of the season watching Newcastle home games. Not a problem, until Villa visited St James Park. Juan Pablo Angel scored after 6 minutes, I was out of my seat celebrating, forgetting that everyone around me had presumed I was a Newcastle fan

When the second goal went in I spent the second half watching it in the bar area. The third quickly followed and my mate came trudging down the stairs from the stand to the bar. "We're going", he said. "We're not" I replied, "have you not just seen Dyer and Bowyer punching each other before they were both sent off?". He hadn't, he just lowered his head and said "only bit of fight the team have shown today and I missed it. Typical".

b) I remember going to Roker Park as a child to watch Sunderland take on Southend United. One of the Southend guys looked quite tasty and scored a hat trick that dat. The player? A fresh faced Stanley Victor Collymore

c) An International perspective. I'm a Scotland fan (for family reasons) and I remember the utter joy at James McFadden's goal away to France. An absolute screamer, I remember being a bit miffed when he ended up signing for Birmingham.

Tony Jameson

Tony is a stand up comedian, his latest tour is called Football Manager Ruined My Life.

FollowTony on Twitter @tonyjameson

Visit the website here

Memory added on November 16, 2014

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